Sleep Deprivation

The time change has not gone over well with the Storm Sprite.  No one consulted her about it beforehand and she certainly wouldn't have granted her permission even if they had.  This week has reminded me a bit of the misery we went through with Little Man, who was not a great sleeper and did not sleep through the night until he was well over a year old.  I wrote this reflection of Little Man's sleeping habits in his first months and since I am remembering it I feel like sharing.  Reading this again gives me vivid flashbacks but since it is not nearly as bad this time around I am sincerely grateful. 

"...he definitely read the book How to Drive Your Parents Crazy and Rule the Home: The Early Months and is following their guidelines to a "T". From what I can figure out, babies invented sleep deprivation torture, only they are even more cunning then any adult could ever be.

"...the first step is to not let your parents sleep for more than two hours at a time (if you are feeling generous), we will refer to this as Standard Practice. Keep this up for a few days, or even weeks, until your parents, or more aptly puppets, seem to be adapting to their new schedule. From here you may choose one of two options:

A- Stop sleeping altogether during times when your puppets might actually get some rest.  Only sleep when they are driving, eating, working, etc.  During the night while your puppets are attempting to sleep your choice of methods to keep them awake are plenty. One particularly effective, as well as devious, tactic is to fuss until they come to comfort you and then smile and coo to your hearts content.  The puppets ability to maintain their frustration at your, and subsequently their, lack of sleep will be greatly diminished as their frustration with you will be in direct opposition to their adoration of you.  This option you will only be able to keep it up for so long since you need your sleep too, you are a growing child.  In which case you may proceed to the next option.

B- Sleep seven hours straight through the night, utter not a whisper of a peep.  Here is where the fun begins.  Your puppets will now be delirious with joy at the abundance of sleep.  Be prepared to recieve praise, snuggles, kisses and cuddles (note: this will exceed the amount usually recieved when you burp, pass gas, or practice any other socially unacceptable but normal bodily functions).   Ready for the key element in this plan? Return to either option A or to Standard Practice.  It appears that it takes only one night for the average adult to unlearn how to cope with sleep deprivation and the resulting disfunctional puppet will be more amusing than usual..."

-Chapter 1: "Sleep Deprivation, The Key to It All" How to Drive Your Parents Crazy and Rule the Home: The Early Months