Random Thoughts

I like that the more I cook, the better I am getting at recognizing potential problems in a recipe.  I can't recall a specific recipe that prompted this thought, but it makes me happy just the same.

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I read on a forum about a family that was having trouble with the kids complaining about the house not having any food.  The trouble was summed up very clearly when it was pointed out that there was apparently a discrepancy with the definition of food.  As far as the kids were concerned food equals something already prepared that they need to do little to nothing to in order to consume it.  In the kids eyes Mom was only buying ingredients. 

In that case, we don't really buy any food at all (except for fruits and veggies most of which require little more than a rinse in the sink).

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I love to watch my kids interact with one another.  I love that I can use them to cheer one another up or ward off a funk.  If the Storm Sprite is upset I can often encourage Little Man with little or no coaxing to come talk with her and try to cheer her up.  In fact, usually I don't need to do anything and he comes to see what's the matter of his own volition.  This can be done by him shaking his head back and forth 2 inches from hers with his nose all scrunched up and a big grin dominating his face as he says repeatedly, "Gimme those smiles! Yeah, yeah! Gimme those smiles!"  Other times he is more mild and simply pats her and reassures her that he is there, (or I am there, or Daddy is there). 

Likewise, if Little Man hasn't woken himself from his nap by 3, I know that I have a much better shot at a happy child if I bring the Storm Sprite in with me and lay her down next to him as I try and rouse him.  Instead of getting a wimpy, whiny boy, I end up with one grinning and snuggling his sister for a few minutes before he decides he is ready to get up and move on with the day.

Of course, since they are both human (and still rather small, immature ones at that) it can also be frustrating to watch their interactions.  The two of them were sitting on my lap giggling and tickling and having a grand old time.  For no apparent reason this went suddenly downhill as Little Man bit his sister's finger.  No warning.  No reason.  And that was the end of that merry scene.

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Little Man loves his daddy.  I have numerous pictures of Little Man copying, helping, or just following Hey, Babe in whatever he is doing.  One of the things that he wants to be able to do with Hey, Babe, is mow the lawn.  He has his own little plastic walk behind mower, just like his daddy does.  Unfortunately for him, we don't let him use it while Hey, Babe is actually mowing the lawn because we have too many rocks in our yard that might become accidental projectiles. 

One particular day as Little Man joined Hey, Babe putting his equipment away, he decided to help.  To do so he bent down pushed on the body of the still very hot mower and before anything could be done had burned his fingers.  Thankfully it wasn't a bad burn but still it hurt, especially for a child only beginning to expand his repertoire of painful experiences.  Since that occurrence, when we tell him not to touch something and that it is hot or dangerous he always asks, "Like a lawnmower?"  In our house it is not hot like a stove. Nope.  Around here, it's dangerous like a lawnmower.

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Excerpts from Little Man

In the course of one dinner, Little Man entertained us with the following:

"Little Man, don't forget to eat your noodles."
"I'm not allowed to."
"What? Of course you are.  Eat your noodles."
"No, I'm not, I have carrots."

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After taking another bite of carrots Little Man bursts into tears.  I assume that he has once again bit either his tongue or cheek and so I ask him if that is what happened and if he is okay.  Through his distressed tears he manages to tell me, "No! I bit my own finger!"

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Little Man has recovered from the self inflicted trauma to his finger and is now merrily eating more of his carrots when he turns to me and tells me, "I have doggies in my mouth."
Taken a little off guard I assure him that he doesn't and to finish his dinner.
"Oh, yes I do!" he contradicts, then leaning toward me with eyebrows wiggling he says conspiratorially, "and they are barking."

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excerpts from Little Man

After and long and eventful day in which Little Man took two small naps instead of his normal one long nap, he was having trouble falling asleep.  Laying in bed he pulled out the standards from his delay bedtime repertoire asking for water, asking for his blankets to be fixed, etc.  None of them were getting what he wanted, namely to have Hey, Babe sit in his room while Little Man fidgeted around pretending to go to sleep.  Finally he tried another trusty tactic, calling out that he had a boo boo.  So in went Hey, Babe to verify the claim.
"What happened?"
"I have a boo boo!"
"Where?" 
"On my head!"
"How did you get a boo boo on your head?"
"On my pillow!"
"You laid down on your pillow and it gave you a boo boo?"

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It was late morning and the Storm Sprite had announced her desire to join the rest of us poor souls in the realm of the awake, so I was off to get her from the bedroom.  While I was straightening the bed and changing the Sprite's diaper, I overheard Little Man doing something in the bathroom.
"What are you doing in there, Little Man?"
"Um, it's my pants."
"What? Your pants? Are you taking off your pants?" I started to hurry.
"Umm, I think so." 

He thinks so.  Only a two year old couldn't be certain if they were taking off their own pants. Now I'm really hurrying since it seems that I have two children nude from the waist down, and one of them is unsupervised.  As soon as I have the Storm Sprite all fastened up I grab her and head for the door so I can see what troubles Little Man is getting into in the bathroom at the end of the hall.  I see his little legs hanging off the toilet with his pants around his ankles and a huge grin on his face.

He calls down the hall to me, "Mommy, I did it! I peeing! I'm so proud of me!"

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Often while I am nursing the Storm Sprite or intend to start or perhaps have just finished, Little Man discusses with me the fact that she is a baby and so she nurses and that he was a baby and he nursed then.  This morning he was snuggled on my lap and his sister was still sleeping.  He turned to me saying, "Little Man's turn to nurse?"

While I'd rather he not start nursing again after having self weaned more than six months ago, I told him okay.  I was counting on having been told and read that most children when they get a new sibling are more concerned with being allowed to nurse then actually participating in the act.  So I tipped him back and prepared to let him nurse and he stopped me with a look of blatant horror and alarm saying, "No! I'm not a baby! That's for babies! It's the Storm Sprite's turn!"

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Sleep Deprivation

The time change has not gone over well with the Storm Sprite.  No one consulted her about it beforehand and she certainly wouldn't have granted her permission even if they had.  This week has reminded me a bit of the misery we went through with Little Man, who was not a great sleeper and did not sleep through the night until he was well over a year old.  I wrote this reflection of Little Man's sleeping habits in his first months and since I am remembering it I feel like sharing.  Reading this again gives me vivid flashbacks but since it is not nearly as bad this time around I am sincerely grateful. 

"...he definitely read the book How to Drive Your Parents Crazy and Rule the Home: The Early Months and is following their guidelines to a "T". From what I can figure out, babies invented sleep deprivation torture, only they are even more cunning then any adult could ever be.

"...the first step is to not let your parents sleep for more than two hours at a time (if you are feeling generous), we will refer to this as Standard Practice. Keep this up for a few days, or even weeks, until your parents, or more aptly puppets, seem to be adapting to their new schedule. From here you may choose one of two options:

A- Stop sleeping altogether during times when your puppets might actually get some rest.  Only sleep when they are driving, eating, working, etc.  During the night while your puppets are attempting to sleep your choice of methods to keep them awake are plenty. One particularly effective, as well as devious, tactic is to fuss until they come to comfort you and then smile and coo to your hearts content.  The puppets ability to maintain their frustration at your, and subsequently their, lack of sleep will be greatly diminished as their frustration with you will be in direct opposition to their adoration of you.  This option you will only be able to keep it up for so long since you need your sleep too, you are a growing child.  In which case you may proceed to the next option.

B- Sleep seven hours straight through the night, utter not a whisper of a peep.  Here is where the fun begins.  Your puppets will now be delirious with joy at the abundance of sleep.  Be prepared to recieve praise, snuggles, kisses and cuddles (note: this will exceed the amount usually recieved when you burp, pass gas, or practice any other socially unacceptable but normal bodily functions).   Ready for the key element in this plan? Return to either option A or to Standard Practice.  It appears that it takes only one night for the average adult to unlearn how to cope with sleep deprivation and the resulting disfunctional puppet will be more amusing than usual..."

-Chapter 1: "Sleep Deprivation, The Key to It All" How to Drive Your Parents Crazy and Rule the Home: The Early Months

The Effects of Our Parenting

This morning as a I sat going through my normal routine at the computer, I came across a post that my Pastor friend Noah had written about parenting and lying.  He is addressing the effect our lack in following through on our words has regarding our children.  Specifically, when we tell them that if they don't stop such and such action, they will receive a punishment.  A punishment they never end up receiving.  He is right, this is inconsistent.  It is lying.  It is teaching our children that we do not mean what we say and they can disregard our threats, our promises, our authority.  When we do this, we are setting ourselves up to fail and struggle both now as well as later in the harder teen years.  If we can't control and guide and be affective in our parenting and discipline now with toddlers, how can we expect that they as teenagers will listen to us?  We will have taught them for years that ours is not a voice of authority.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  I always believed and was taught that this meant specifically in regard to teaching them your beliefs and values from childhood so that they will still be embraced as adults.  I am now considering that it can be applied to all aspects of their lives.  It is our job to be teaching them to respect us, both as people and authority figures (and so we must act in ways that they can respect) but it is more than that.  We are also to be teaching them to be healthy individuals in all areas of their lives.  

When our kids are young we have the power to affect their current and future relationships with everything from ourselves, to exercise, food and nutrition, learning and studying, spouses, their children, themselves, etc.  We have the power to influence nearly every area in their lives.  My Mom always told us that she wanted us kids to take the best aspects of her and Dad individually, and leave their bad ones behind.  For our children to do this we actually have to give them good things to emulate.  While we cannot be perfect parents, we are human and therefore fallible, we need to have a positive influence on them much more often than not.

I often joke that as parents, Hey, Babe and I are the dictators.  If it is true it needs to be a loving dictatorship in which we try to give our children little cause to rebel or revolt, while we are still be doing our darnedest to make wise and mature decisions regarding them and our family.  I think that in many ways parenting has to be a dictatorship, especially when our kids are young, because we cannot entrust the care and decision making of our children to persons lacking in wisdom, maturity or experience (i.e. themselves).  It cannot be an anarchy, where our instructions are disregarded as meaningless.  Which is why we need to be consistent in both our words and our actions.  We need to teach them, with love and care, that ours is the last word and not a hollow chant to be ignored.  The safety and well being of our children depends on the strength and effectiveness of us as parents.   A sobering and weighty responsibility.